Man vs Man

The definition of an ass
n. pl. ass•es (sz)

1. Any of several hoofed mammals of the genus Equus, resembling and closely related to the horses but having a smaller build and longer ears, and including the domesticated donkey.
2. A vain, self-important, silly, or aggressively stupid person.

Peter vs. Homer... Who wins? Who butts out when it comes to being the bigger ass? I will go through a few selected asinine things each have done and make a genuine conclusion for the question that has dawned man kind for years!

While both, family men, employed, and ignorant, I've looked into both the lives and traits of Homer and Peter.
Looking at Mr. Simpson and a few of his special traits. Homer is overweight, lazy, and rather idiotic. His behavior is often absurd, offensive, selfish, dangerous, clumsy, idiotic, and insensitive, but he still remains lovable. Despite the Physical attacks on Bart, i.e. Strangulation, Homer tends to take his anger out on more solid objects like weathervanes and signs. Homer's mind is vacuous, but sprinkled with occasional dense packets of knowledge. He has shown small bursts of astonishing foresight, memory, creativity, and fluency with language (including Japanese, German, Chinese, Spanish, and penguin. Homer Simpson maybe an American boob, however it is in my Harvard opinion, that he is one boob you would love to squeeze (hug)!

The Simpson have been on for years now, and Homer really develops into a character everyone can love. Instead of dimming his character into a jackass per se, he is dimmed down to dumb, or slow if you will. He may not know his mistakes, however if told or in the doghouse, he clearly comes up with some outrageous plan to win everyone back again.

Let’s now take a look in the life and traits of Peter Griffen. The man who really grinds my gears, the all American Family Guy! Peter Griffen is a big boisterous Oaf, loveable to his family and highly opinionated. Peter speaks his mind, and usually says the wrong things and the wrong times. He lives in Quahog, Rhode Island with his family and would do anything for them as long as it doesn’t get in the way of his TV time. Peter is currently unemployed trying his hands into different job schemes but comes out failing. What Peter lacks in common sense and good judgment, he tends to make up for it in enthusiasm. He goes overboard with an idea, but always has fun trying. Peter currently holds the longest fart record in TV history, although he hadn’t farted till the age of 30, he now makes up for lost time. Peter can be very dull and often irritating; he gets away with murder and treats his wife with no respect at all. However, if you need to make yourself feel good, just take a look at him, I promise it will make you feel better!

So you probably know that in my opinion, Peter is the ass with the biggest pile of poo attached to him at all times. He has his moments I admit when he can be funny, however I find Family Guy very hard to watch every day, and I feel the show relies on the most successful character Stewie!

And that is A Megan’s Perspective!

Your Under Arrest

So you’re driving down a country road, Queen blaring, smell of burning rubber in your nostrils, and flying so fast that you slip into tunnel vision at 200 miles per hour. This is the greatest moment of your life! A rebel without a cause, the bad boy of the 2000's, the bat outta hell, and nothing can stop you.

Uh Oh, you think, as a screaming cop car behind you suddenly pulls out from a hidden bush and seems to catch up to your speed fast. You pull over, roll down the window and look in the rear view to see a cop walking slowly towards you, your Ipod starts playing the music of westerns before a shootout and you sink in your chair. He approaches you with the look of stone on his face, you squeak out... 'Something wrong officer?'

So I have been reading about stupid laws lately in my free time. Laws that were made back in the days of horse and buggy, that just were never stricken from the record because it actually costs more to get rid of a law then to just bury it in the hatchet. Here are a few I think you will enjoy, most from the States!

Alaska: It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
Alabama: You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
New York: The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
Washington: When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed.
Montana: It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
Pennsylvania: It is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
Rhode Island: One must make a loud noise before passing a car on the left.
Massachusetts: No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car

My favorite of course, is London England; all taxi drives must carry a barrel of hay at all times! I mean if you really want to sue someone over how hot your coffee is, you may unfortunately have greater chances at putting a gorilla in the back of your friend’s car and taking a picture.
In conclusion laws are generally put in place for a reason, mostly to keep each other safe, however it is in my thoughts that the laws of today will be jokes by tomorrow, and the system shouldn’t take them so seriously. To read more on the stupid laws I have found please click on the link: http://www.dumblaws.com/index.php

And that’s a Megans Perspective!

Nevermore!!

Quoth the Megan
Nevermore!
(Inspired by Edgar Allen Poe)

Once upon the daylights dreary, while we drove all meek and weary
Over the many a quaint and curious roads that we explored

While I nodded nearly napping, suddenly we grabbed the map and,
As I knew what was unwrapping, looking at that Essex whore
Tis a outraged that I muttered, looking at that Essex whore
Only this and nothing more.

Helplessly we listened bravely, to a British girl who’s crazy
Stating that we dialed the number, number to the Essex whore
Tis a bar and nothing more

So we went and turned the car round, to a restaurant out of town
Thinking of the many ways the Maple Leaf could hit the floor
Quoth the Megan nevermore!

Just to inform all of you, I wrote this poem after a long days journey to a Canadian pub that no longer exists. The pub was called The Maple Leaf, and it was said to have the friendliest people and nicest food. Unfortunatly the Pub is now called The Essex Arms.. aka... The Essex Whore lol. Why did I decide to all it a Whore you ask.. Well, the pub screams come in and try me, but it looks soo dirty that you are afraid to take it up on its offer.
So, in conclusion I dedicate one last O CANADA to the Maple Leaf and bid thee fare well. You will be missed!

Brought to you by A Megans Perspective!